Session One: Let’s Talk

“… the human heart is complicated—primitive, filled with dark corners, but with areas of illumination too.”

Perhaps you are in therapy but not seeing results—or, perhaps you have never been inside a therapist’s office, and have no idea what to expect. What goes on in therapy should not be a mystery. In this chapter, I pull back the curtain on what a session really looks like, guide you through what you can (or should) expect from your therapist—and begin to untangle your heart in the process.

Download Session One NOW!

Session Two: Entering Therapy: It Takes Courage to Face Yourself

“We’re embarking on this journey together, with no defined roadmap…”

We live in a society that tells us our problems are ours alone to fix, asking for help is a sign of weakness, and vulnerability should be buried deep within. But these messages inhibit personal growth and connection with others. This chapter will help you open up, identify the feelings and behavior patterns that sabotage your life, and learn how to stop them.

Session Two Soundtrack:
Talk by Coldplay

Session Three: Take Responsibility for Your Life, at Any Age

“Only by taking full responsibility will you be able to grow as a person and fully experience the richness that life has to offer…”

Do you know someone in your life who has an entitlement problem, or who always places blame on others? How’s that working out for them—or you? In this chapter, you’ll learn how your hidden unconscious feelings of anger and entitlement sabotage your prospects for happiness; and discover how to reverse this pattern, take responsibility, and achieve success at home and at work.

Session Three Soundtrack:
It’s My Life,  by The Animals

Session Four: Help Your Child Following an Emotionally Disturbing Experience

“In the face of emotionally disturbing experiences such as bullying, betrayal, being cruelly ostracized, and the death of a pet or family member, how does a parent best respond?”

When a child experiences trauma, their lives can be affected forever. Managing PTSD in children can be one of the most difficult tasks a parent can face—but I’m here to help you through it. In this chapter, I will teach you how to become a more effective parent when your child experiences an emotionally distressing event, so that the risk of the emotional crisis being carried forward is reduced.

Session Four Soundtrack:
Skyscraper, by Demi Lovato

Session Five: Heal an Existential Crisis in a Young Adult

“… in one form or another, there is a loss of an ideal, and what previously provided meaning, guidance, and purpose no longer works and is actively repudiated.”

If your high-achieving adolescent or young adult is starting to rebel or withdraw, they may be going through an existential crisis. What’s most important for their wellbeing is to develop meaning and purpose for themselves—rather than having it foisted upon them by others. In this session, you’ll gain key insights and advice about helping your child through this emotionally distressing time. It contains a workbook guide for your child to use, too.

Session Five Soundtrack:
Demons, by Imagine Dragons

Session Six: Let Go of Your Child as They Become an Adult

“The challenge we face as parents is to let go yet remain engaged, recalling what it felt like to be young and scared as we ourselves once entered this phase of our journey.”

When it comes time for our kids to leave the nest, finding the balance between letting go and staying engaged can be difficult. In this session, I share crucial strategies to help you understand how to let go of your child as they become an adult, cope with your anxiety and emotional pain, and have them achieve greater independence, take more responsibility and achieve a better life outcome.

Session Six Soundtrack:
Child’s Song by Tom Rush

Session Seven: What Is Mature Love, and How Do I Find It?

“…we must understand the constituents of mature love, as opposed to an idyllic fantasy.”

How do you create a love relationship that is resilient and unwavering? For many of us, this is one of the most challenging questions we face in life. In this chapter, I will help you to define mature love and explore some of the obstacles that arise in our search for an intimate connection. You’ll learn how to build happier, healthier love relations, and end the patterns that sabotage them.

Session Seven Soundtrack:
I Want to Know What Love Is, by Foreigner

Session Eight: What Makes Commitment So Challenging?

“Marriage is one of the most challenging of all human relationships. It can also be one of the most emotionally rewarding…”

Marriage and other long-term committed relationships are characterized by highs and lows. If your marriage or long-term committed relationship is in a dark and unhappy place, there is work we can do together. Learn how to determine where your love relationship went off track, how to develop an atmosphere of emotional safety, and how to enable both you and your partner to move toward a more gratifying relationship.

Session Eight Soundtrack:
The Way I’ve Always Heard It Would Be, by Carly Simon

Session Nine: Recovering from Empty Nest Syndrome

“All too often, the last child leaving for college is a wakeup call, and the couple is suddenly alone at home, facing one other for the first time in many years.”

When your last child leaves the house for good to begin their journey into adulthood, you may feel like you’re stuck in a house with a partner you don’t even know anymore. The empty nest era may provoke an internal emotional crisis and seriously strain your marriage or other committed love relationship. However, there are a number of steps any couple can take to prevent this from happening—I address them in this chapter.

Session Nine Soundtrack:
More Than A Feeling, by Boston

Session Ten: Trauma and Intimate Relationships

“The after effects of trauma, especially childhood sexual abuse, can live deep inside our hearts and minds for our entire lives…”

How many of us live a life untouched by at least some significant trauma? However, if left unaddressed, our early-childhood relationships and trauma can and will haunt our adult relationships, making it nearly impossible to find stability. In a previous chapter, I discussed how we can manage this trauma as parents. In this chapter, I will teach you how you can begin to manage it for yourself—and how you can recover and feel more trust and closeness.

Session Ten Soundtrack:

Blown Away, by Carrie Underwood

Session Eleven: Transcending Sexual Abuse

“…a caring and empathetic bond with the therapist is crucial to working through traumatic events without feeling overwhelmed, abandoned, or alone (yet again).”

If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, my heart goes out to you. You have traveled down a harder road than most. Not uncommonly, these experiences have profound effects on the development of one’s Self, and the ability to commit to and trust in another human being. In this chapter I teach you steps that you can take to begin to heal your heart, and improve your love relations.

Session Eleven Soundtracks:

Blown Away, by Carrie Underwood

Tornado, by Jonsi

About the Book

“Becoming Whole is best described as a ‘pocket therapist.’ Weaving together self-help, psychotherapy, and medication, this book is a must-read for anyone striving to create a more fulfilling life.”

—Harry L. Leider, M.D., MBA, Chief Medical Officer of Walgreens

“Becoming Whole gave my family game-changing, life-saving strategies. Dr. Kehr delivers on his promise to be a healing companion. The book is destined to become a classic.”

—Mary LoVerde, Hall of Fame speaker and author of I Used to Have a Handle on Life but It Broke

“Becoming Whole feels so personal, as if I’m sitting and talking with the doctor in his office. I love the vivid, real cases in which we can find ourselves, and the step-by-step tactics to do something. It’s an emotional, visual, and auditory feast. My brain is on fire with new energy about what it means to be human.”

—Scott Halford, Emmy Award Winning Writer and Producer and Best-Selling Author of Activate Your Brain

“This book is invaluable for anyone seeking solace from pain.”

—Leslie D. Michelson, Author of The Patient’s Playbook

Ease Emotional Pain. End Aloneness. Find Self-Love.℠

Filled with warmth, empathy, and hope, Becoming Whole systematically teaches you how to ease emotional pain in your life and in the lives of those you care about. Powerfully illustrated by “sessions”—stories of patients in treatment—and for the first time unveiling what goes on inside the heart and mind of a psychotherapist as they heal a patient’s tangled heart, Becoming Whole is devoted to helping

• Someone suffering from emotional distress that just won’t go away
• Patients in treatment who have not fully recovered
• Anyone wanting to improve their love relations

Insightful, powerful and revealing, Becoming Whole is not only a healing companion, but a valuable life companion as well.

Proceeds from your purchase of this book will be used to help victims of child abuse.

About Dr. Bruce Kehr

Author and national award-winning psychiatrist Bruce Alan Kehr, MD, is the founder and president of Potomac Psychiatry (PotomacPsychiatry.com) since 1981. Washingtonian magazine awarded him their Top Doctor designation from 2012 to 2017. In 2016, the magazine named him The Face of Psychiatry in their ”Faces of Washington” issue. Dr. Kehr serves on the Board of the Institute on Aging of the University of Pennsylvania and served as its chairman from 2006 to 2009. The readers and editors of PharmaVOICE selected him in 2007 as one of the 100 Most Inspiring and Influential Leaders in the Life Sciences Industry. He is also an Eagle Scout.

Dr. Kehr received training in psychiatry at Tufts New England Medical Center, where he was chief resident; in neuropsychiatry at the VA Boston Healthcare System—Jamaica Plain; and in psychoanalysis at the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute. He practices psychiatry and psychotherapy using the biopsychosocial model, designed to evaluate and treat the whole person by understanding each individual’s unique genetic, biological, psychological, social, and life-stage attributes.

Dr. Kehr lives in Potomac, Maryland, with his wife, Barbara, a psychotherapist. They have two daughters: Melanie, a family and immigration law attorney who represents battered and abused women and children and immigrants seeking asylum, and Lisa, a psychiatric nurse practitioner graduate student.